Laughter, the best medicine. Adapted from Jean's blog.

1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

8. Why is it called building when it is already built?

9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

12. If vegetarians ! eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Humans???

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Hitler: My dog has no nose.

Crowd: How does it smell?

Hitler: Awful!

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A man speaks to his doctor after an operation. He says, "Doc, now that the surgery is done, will I be able to play the piano?" The doctor replies, "Of course!" The man says, "Good, because I couldn't before."

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1st Scene.

Daddy and Mommy are fighting in the living room, right in front of their little son. Daddy : Oh!!! You Bitch!Mommy : What?? You Bastard! Son : Daddy, Mommy, what's Bitch and Bastard?? At this moment, Daddy blushes. He quickly thinks up something. Daddy : It means Ladies and Gentlemen, son. Son : Oh I see!

> > > > > > > >

2nd Scene.

Little Son was watching a TV show about premarital sex and there they mentioned the words 'breasts' and 'penises'. Mommy was reading the papers. Son : Mommy, what's breasts and penises? At this moment, mommy turned blue and quickly thought of something to say. Mom: It means coats and hats, son. Son : Oh I see!

> > > > > >

3rd Scene.

Daddy was shaving his beard and son passed by; the toilet. Suddenly daddy cut himself and screamed... Daddy : Oh SHIT!! Son : Daddy, what's shit? At this moment, Daddy eyes bulged, and quickly thought of something to say.. Daddy : It means shaving cream, son. Son : Oh I see!!

> > > > > > > >

4th Scene.

Christmas is approaching, and mommy was stuffing the turkey into the stove.The turkey just wouldn't fit into the stove, so she said... Mommy : Oh! Fuck! Son : Mommy, what's fuck? At this moment, Mommy froze.She quickly thought of something to say. Mommy : It means stuffing, son. Son : Oh I see!!

> > > > > > >

5th Scene.

It's Chrismas Eve! Little son exuberantly opened the door to let all his uncles, aunties, cousins and friends come into the house. Proudly he boasted his new vocabulary... "Welcome in, Bastards and Bitches! Please put all your breasts and penises at that corner of the house! My parent are busy at the moment. You see; Daddy is putting shit on his face upstairs while mummy is fucking the turkey in the kitchen. Don't worry they will come out in a minute!!Everyone fainted!!!!!!!!!!

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